Let me know the struggle ends...

This week began the start of a new Bible study for me.  It's based out of a book called "Stressed-Less Living" by Tracie Miles.  Something I immediately liked about the book was that it was "Stressed-Less"--meaning that we wouldn't be leading lives that were entirely free from stress, but that it would be lessened.  Such a refreshing, realistic approach to life that I don't recall really seeing too much of before this book.

I need to confess, when I was first considering reading the book, I wasn't really sure about it.  In fact, the idea of reading the book was kind of making me stress out.

Okay, more than kinda.

It was totally making me stress out.

But as I was praying about it and considering my options for this spring, I came to the conclusion that it might just be something I needed to read and that I didn't have to do every single thing that was listed as an activity for the online Bible study that I'm taking part in.

Not that the activities would not be good things to do--it was just that I needed to take into consideration that if the idea of doing the activities was causing more stress, it would probably be counterproductive in my pursuit of living a less-stressed life.

And somehow, I didn't think that the people running the study intended for their ideas to be a burden.

But you know what I have found out this week as we have been beginning the study?

I have been eager to take part in reading the book and answering the questions, as well as taking part in the other activities that have been going on (so far) with the study.

This week also marked the beginning of a new session at our women's Bible study group.  We're taking a look at the book "Stuck" by Jennie Allen.  In that study, Jennie asks us to take a look at different areas of our lives where we feel the most...well, stuck.

As I've been thinking about those areas in my life where I feel like I either keep returning to the same problems (repeating them over and over again) or I cannot seem to make any sort of headway, it occurred to me that those areas of my life are the same areas that often cause me the most stress.

Go figure.

My finances.

My workplace.

At times, my family life and relationships...

And so much more...

These are all areas where I feel stuck and I find I struggle with stress.

This first chapter was interesting and a bit of a challenge for me to read.  There were a couple of points that Tracie made that I thought were really eye-opening for me.

The first (and probably most significant one) was the idea that I needed to take responsibility for those areas where my choices have led to feelings of stress, anxiety, and just a general state of being overwhelmed.

There are areas where I accept that fact more easily than other areas.  For instance, when it comes to my finances, I'm the only one that spends the money that goes into my account.  Therefore, I'm the only to blame when I spend too much or get myself into trouble.

That particular area is one that I have just resigned myself to accepting the blame.

And yes, occasionally, doing so has led me to condemn myself or feel frustrated that I can never seem to get out of the pit that I've dug for myself.  But, at the same time, there is a bit of reassurance that comes with knowing that it is within my power to change that.

But there are other areas of my life where I struggle with stress (particularly when it comes to managing my time) and it didn't down on me until recently that a lot of it is of my own doing.

With regards to managing my time, it usually is because I have overcommitted myself (just ask anyone who knows me well, this is a dangerous habit of mine).  But some of it is outside of my control.  Things like when two groups that I'm part of decide to schedule meetings on the same day or even at the same time.

Throw in the extra factor of me having something that I am already committed to happening at the same time as the two other things (like last week when two committes I was part of wanted to meet at the same time my small group is held).

Can you say STRESSED?

It was only recently that I finally started to speak up and say that I couldn't make those things because I had a prior commitment.  More importantly, I finally came to a point where I decided that if they were going to meet at a time when I couldn't make it, then I probably didn't need to be at that meeting or (if necessary) I could find some other way to get the information that was discussed.

This decision was not made out of a sense of not caring about the groups that I was part of, nor out of some sort of selfish thought like "Well, if they can't accomodate me and the times I'm available, then I don't want to be part of it"...but rather it was out of the realization that something needed to be done to reduce my stress levels. In order to do that, I just flat-out needed to say "No" to something.

And honestly, while I was struggling with it initially (feeling guilty about not being there and not demonstrating what I thought was 100% commitment), it really led me to a place where I began to feel a sense of peace about the decision I had made.

And I really think that was God's way of honoring the decision that I had made.

The story of Mary and Martha from Luke keeps running through my head.  And how Jesus told Mary that martha was doing the "one thing" that was needed--spending time at Jesus' feet.

So many times we multitask and end up spreading ourselves too thin, thinking that we are far more efficient and better when we accomplish many things at one time.

But the truth of the matter is, while we may be able to do a bunch of things at once and complete them, the work that we do is not necessarily our best work.

And that is not what God wants from us.

So often lately I've heard people say that they can either do a few things at one time--and have those things be done half-heartedly and poorly, or they can do one thing at a time and do it well.

And that, I think, is what God wants from us.

He would rather have us do one thing well than have us do a hundred things poorly.

As I was thinking about this, something that I came to realize is just how much help I need in this area of my life.

Lately I have been worn down and tired.  Easily and thoroughly distracted.  Not really able to do anything very well.  And I've been cranky to boot.

Making me *sarcasm* oh so fun *end sarcasm* to be around.

And the stress from being cranky, worn out, exhausted, distracted, and unable to do anything well has only exacerbated the problem and made me that much more cranky, worn out, exhausted, distracted...etc...

Thereby making me feel like I'm stuck and forced to live out a stress-filled life.

But the thing that Tracie kept pointing out in this first chapter of "Stressed-Less Living" was that we do not need to live a stress-filled life.  In fact, God does not want that for us.  There is a reason why our bodies react negatively to that kind of living--God made it that way as a warning sign to us that we should be doing something different.

As I got to thinking about my desire to become un-stuck from this stress-filled life, and moving into a less-stressed life, the lines from this song came to mind:

(I'm worn)
My prayers are wearing thin
(Yeah, I'm worn)
Even before the day begins
(Yeah, I'm worn)
I've lost my will to fight
(Yeah, I'm worn)
So heaven come and fill my eyes

Let me know redemption wins
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart
That's frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside
Can be reborn

Cuz I'm worn...

There are days where my prayers don't seem to be very effective and I'm just flat-out tired of trying to cope with everything that has been coming my way.  The hardest times for me can be the mornings--I just want to hole up in my room sometimes and not face the outside world.  A bit reminiscent of the idea of a child that thinks hiding under the covers can keep everything that's bad at bay.

What I love about this song is that throughout each of the verses, the singer is reminding himself of what God can do in a situation.

Redemption does win.

The struggle will end.

Your frail and torn heart can be mended.

A song can rise from the ashes of a broken life.

And God is most definitely in the business of resurrecting dead things.

But the key is, we have to take a step back and let Him.

We have to come to the realization that we are weak and admit that we are unable to control everything that is happening in our world.  We have to recognize that He is the one that can ultimately control our situation.  And we have to also realize that there are some things in our lives that we need to take responsibility for, confess before God, and then turn it all over to Him.

It is only then that we can know His peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:6,7).

It is only then that we can understand that His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

And it is only then that we can find reassurance in His promises, like in Isaiah 41:10:

Don't be afraid, for I am with you.

Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you.

I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

 

For those of us who are worn, tired of being stuck, and in the grip of stress, God will provide the help we need right when we need it.  He will give us the strength we need to get through that circumstance.  He will give us courage--knowing that He is with us in the midst of the things that worry us the most.  And He will give us encouragement when we rest in the knowledge that He is God--holy, all-powerful, completely-in-control, God.

 

 

 

Worn

As sung by Tenth Avenue North

 

I'm tired and worn

My heart is heavy

From the work it takes

To keep on breathing

 

I've made mistakes

I've let my hope fail

My soul is crushed

By the weight of this world

 

And I know that You can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

 

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn

 

I wanna know a song can rise

from the ashes of a broken life

and all that's dead inside

can be reborn

 

Cuz I'm worn

 

I know I need to lift my eyes up

But I'm too weak

Life just won't let up

 

And I know that You can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

from the ashes of a broken life

and all that's dead inside

can be reborn

(I'm worn)

My prayers are wearing thin

(Yeah, I'm worn)

Even before the day begins

(Yeah, I'm worn)

I've lost my will to fight

(Yeah, I'm worn)

So heaven come and fill my eyes

Let me know redemption wins

Let me know the struggle ends

That You can mend a heart

That's frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that's dead inside

Can be reborn

Yes, all that's dead inside

will be reborn

 

Well, I'm worn...

 

Yeah, I'm worn