The Power of Words

Oh, there is so much to write about.

Words...words truly have the power to hurt and the power to heal.  The power to destroy and the power to build up.  The power to kill and the power to give life.

So much of what happens in my head and comes out of my mouth during my "unglued" moments are negative words.  Words that destroy when they should be building.  Words that cut deep when they should be healing.

I'm reading in the One Year Bible and came across this passage in Ephesians:

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. (Eph. 4:22-24)

So much of what God has been teaching me has been about old versus new.  He has been doing a healing work in my life in so many different areas.  A common thread is beginning to appear (I think) that has to do with developing relationships where I feel safe.  To learn to trust people again and be open, even--dare I say--vulnerable.  To know that if God is calling me to share a piece of my heart with someone that it is okay.  And to trust that if the person hurts or breaks it in some way, God has a reason and He will heal that hurt.

It may seem like a lot of what I'm going through is about forgiveness.  And that would be true, at least in part.  But I think a lot of it also has to do with getting rid of these old thought patterns--these words that I would speak to myself that have no truth or love in them.

"I have been damaged by hurts in my past and can never let myself be open to that kind of pain again."

"People aren't trustworthy because I have been hurt by them."

That defensive mechanism is not a good one to have.  It doesn't allow space for grace--which I'm learning I need, not only for myself, but also for others.

See, the thing that I'm finding is that I've been projecting that hurt I feel from others on to God.  I have been angry at God and hurt because He has allowed certain hurts to come into my life.  For me to admit that is no small feat.

And as a result, God doesn't "feel" safe.  And "not safe" for me means "not trustworthy".

But here's what I'm learning:

God may not "feel" safe, but He is totally trustworthy.  He has taken those hurts, those pains (some of them 20 years old) and He has been changing them.  He has been healing them and helping me work through them.

And because of those hurts and those pains that God has helped/is helping me through, I am then able to help others.

But first things first: I have to "put off" that old self--that old way of thinking.  And I have to "put on" a new way of thinking.

That new way of thinking involves knowing that God is a good God who has my best interests at heart.  And trusting that whatever I'm going through will work out for my good--even when I don't see how.

Lysa Terkeurst had this to say in her book Unglued:

Yes, I can face things that are out of my control and not act out of control.  This would be my new thought...But I couldn't just say it or think it.  I had to believe it.  And in order to believe it, I had to settle a matter of trust in my heart.  Could I trust God and believe that He is working out something good even from things that seem no good? (pg. 24)

See, that really is what it boils down to.  When I choose to put myself out there and share a piece of me and someone takes advantage of that or hurts me in some way, can I still trust that God is good and He will work something good out of this thing that seems no good?

So I give myself positive words.  I speak life to my heart and my soul by reminding myself of the healing that God has done in my life--the healing that He is still doing in my life.  I speak life to my heart and soul when I remind them that God is trustworthy.  And I speak life to my heart and soul when I do what Scripture says.

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.  "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold...Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:25-27, 29:32)

Tonight when I read this passage, I came to the realization that this is also true of the talk that we do with ourselves.  We need to be honest with ourselves--not hiding behind a mask of some sort.  We need to acknowledge when we are angry--acknowledge it, but not revel in it or indulge it.  That way the devil has no place to cling to when he tries to attack us.

And when we have that running dialogue in our head that talks about what a failure we are, that we can't do anything right, that we're unworthy and that we can't trust anyone--we need to stop that because it only serves to tear ourselves (and others) down.

We need to remember that God has forgiven us for those things that we have said or done that cause pain in our lives and in the lives of others.  We also need to extend grace to those people who have caused us pain and remind ourselves that we are no better than they--Christ died for their sin just as much as He died for our own.

And I want those words of life to come when I most need it--during those times when I am worn out and can't see what God is up to.

But there is something else, too.

I want to be able to say this:

The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary... (Isaiah 50:4a)

I want to be able to say that I have taken those words of encouragement, those things that God has used to strengthen me and then use them to strengthen someone else when they needed it most.

I want to speak truth--not lies.

I want to build up--not destroy.

I want to speak life--never death.

Lord, give me that instructed tongue.  Give me a love for others that would cause me to be courageous and speak words that would give life and sustain someone.  Open my eyes to see those in need of an encouraging word and open my ears to hear what it is You would have me say.