But while he was still a long way off...

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it..."
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
He rises to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for Him!
~ Isaiah 30:15, 18 ~

Sovereign: Having supreme power, rank or authority. Greatest in degree; utmost or extreme. Being above all others in character, importance, excellence, etc... (swiped from http://www.dictionary.com)

Holy: Set apart. Specially recognized as or declared sacred by religious use or authority; consecrated.

Consecrated: To make or declare sacred; set apart or dedicated to the service of a deity. To devote or dedicate to some purpose.

Isaiah 30:15 is a verse that was suggested for further reflection at the end of chapter 3 of Stressed-Less Living by Tracie Miles.

This past weekend at the women's workshops that I attended, Christy Perez talked about the things that we need to weed out of our lives and then plant into our lives in order to live in a more godly (and compassionate) manner. When I read the above passage, it got me to thinking that repentance, rest, quietness and trust would all be things that God would want me to plant in the garden of my heart.

I was thinking about looking up the meaning of each of those words, but I decided to look up the adjectives describing God: sovereign and holy.

And there I was temporarily stuck.

It occurred to me that if I don't have at least a basic understanding of those two words, the rest of it (repentance, rest, quietness, and trust) would not come very easily...most likely not out of a heart that is responding to God as a sovereign being nor as a holy being.

There were several phrases for each of these definitions. I picked the ones that caught my eye or that I already knew.

The two that really grabbed my attention were: "Greatest in degeree; utmost or extreme" and "To devote or dedicate to some purpose".

The first one is definitely something that comes to mind when I think about God. And it's when I think of Him in those terms that I tend to feel a sense of separation from Him--as though on my own, I am not enough. I cannot relate to Him as I wish.

There are several places in the Bible that make this point painfully clear. The beginning of the book of Romans, for instance. Here's another:

Once you were alientaed from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior.
~ Colossians 1:21 ~

It doesn't get much clearer than that.

If God is at the extreme end of everything that is good and pure, then we (being His enemies) must be at the extreme end of everything that is bad and unclean.

But God offered us a way to be made clean--to become holy, as it were.

But now He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death
to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation...
~ Colossians 1:22 ~

It was through Christ's death that our debt for our sin was paid (Romans 3:23-26, 6:23) and we were made clean.

But there is a step that we, and we alone, must take.

Repentance: Deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing or the like...

Not so much one of our favorite words when we're not ready to let go of our sin. That one coupled with confession makes us cringe when we know that there is something there that we're just not quite ready to admit to or change in our lives.

My own area that I'm struggling with right now is with the TV and just how much TV I watch. It's something that I have had constantly going in the background while I doing my quiet time or while doing other things, trying to justify it by saying that i needed it on so that i had background noise of some sort.

But the truth is, it started occupying my thoughts far more than it should. And it would seep into my consciousness when I should have been focusing on God.

And for so long I have tried to deny that it's been a problem. When asked to, I half-heartedly repented of it. But that's the thing with repentance--it cannot ever really and truly be done half-heartedly.

I heard somewhere before that to repent means to do a U-turn--to turn around 180 degrees and not look back.

But that was something I kept doing--looking back. I haven't completely weeded that particular sin out of my heart.

And I'm sure there are several different reasons why...most of them relating to fear of some sort. Fear that I'll be bored, for one. Fear that I won't be able to relax any other way. Fear of what other things God would have me try to weed out of my life once that one is gone.

Just being honest.

Today, though, I was working on my lesson for next week's Joy book ("Stuck" by Jennie Allen) and she talked quite a bit about the idols we have in our life. And how, often, those idols are tied in with some sort of fear.

And while I have known for quite some time that my TV has been an idol in my life that I have needed to deal with, I haven't been ready to let go of the fear that I've felt.

But now, I think, I'm ready. A bit anxious about what I'm going to do with my free time, but ready just the same.

The thing that keeps coming to mind is the first part of Isaiah 30:18:

 

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
He rises to show you compassion...

When I read that verse, it reminded me so strongly of the story of the prodigal son.

Each of us, like this young man, have tried to go our own way--seeking a way to live apart from our Heavenly Father. But there comes a point and time when we discover that those things that we were chasing after are really not the best things for us. In fact, they are the worst things for us. And we find ourselves desiring something more--a way for our needs and this gaping hole within us to be filled.

When the son was ready to repent, he said:

How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!
I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.
I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men."
~ Luke 15:17-19 ~

And the thing that gets me is that the father in this story didn't even need to hear what the son had to say.

 

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
~ Luke 15:20b ~

The son didn't even make it to the door--the father was that eager to show him his love and compassion. He was moved to action--wanting to celebrate the return of his son in a big way.

Historians say that the father's rush to greet his son was actually something that was considerd undignified in that day and age. He would have had to hike up his robes and undergarments to come racing towards the son, showing his lower legs (something that was frowned upon at that time). The extent of the affection that he showed his son when he embraced him would probably have been frowned upon as well, for it was far too much to be shown in public.

But he didn't care one iota.

All he wanted to do was show his son his love.

Just like the father longed for his son to return so that he could lavish his love upon him, God desires to do this with us even more.

That was something new I had learned last night from Louie Giglio--that the word "prodigal" actually means "lavish". And not just in the sense of overspending or extravagant/sinful lifestyle, but to the extreme of anything. As extravagant and costly as the son's lifestyle was, his father's was more so.

But the father said to his servants, "Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him.
Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate.
For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."
~ Luke 15:22-24a ~

Honestly, if I were the one writing this passage, there would have been exclamation points all over this dialogue, not just after the word "quick". :)

I honestly believe this is God's reaction whenever one of His children repents. He wants to celebrate that in a big way. Because coming from death--whether it be physical death, spiritual death, emotional death, relational death, or otherwise--to life is a big deal.

And somehow that reassurance hit me anew last night while Louie Giglio was speaking. That the angels in heaven rejoice just as much over my repentance after nearly 20 years of being a Christian as they do over someone else who has never been a Christian or believer.

The idea that repentance was even something to celebrate had never really entered my mind. Repentance is supposed to be this solemn affair and is traditionally treated as such.

But in God's eyes, it's something that is worth celebrating.

Big time!