God grant me the serenity...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

 

~ Reinhold Niebuhr ~

 

 

As I was working through listing those things that make me stressed, how I feel about them, how the problems have been affecting my life, and then considering whether or not I have the power/ability to change them, the above prayer jumped into my head.

 

There is so much truth packed into that little prayer.  So many of the things that cause me great stress are those things that I cannot control.

 

I've been thinking an awful lot about responsibility lately.  taking responsibility for our own choices is something that I think tends to get overlooked.  For some reason, we tend to think that it's easier to play the blame game.  And it's not something that is unique to my generation or even the younger generations--you see it way back with Adam and Eve after God asks Adam why he had sinned and was hiding in the garden:

 

"The woman YOU gave me!"

 

And then Eve isn't too far behind:

 

"It was the serpant!"

 

While I do want to hide when I make a bad choice and I do want to blame others, sometimes there is a feeling of cleansing that washes over me after I confess that I made the choice and try to accept the consequences for those actions.

 

Something that I have been struggling with a lot lately has been my schedule.  I tend to overcommit myself to different things.  It seems like every moment of every day is packed to the gills.  This week would be a great example.

 

Sunday: Check on the place I'm housesitting before going to church (church from 9-10:30), meeting at a coffee shop from 11-12:30, Hanging out with a friend at her house from 12:30 until 4, hanging out with her at church from 4-6, checking on the place I'm housesitting from 6-6:30, rush home for dinner...and before I know it the day just disappears from me.

 

Monday: Work from 8:30 to 5.  A relatively easy (and oddly free) day.

 

Tuesday: Work from 8:30 to 5.  From 5-9 be at church for women's Bible study group

 

Wednesday: Work from 8:30 to 5.  From 5-5:30 catch up on e-mails (sort of) and prepare slides for the music on Sunday morning.  5:30-6:30, training on how to start up and use the cameras at church for an event on Saturday.  6:30-9, small group...

 

You get the idea.

 

And this doesn't include the things that come in like my e-mail exploding with things for the workshops we're holding this weekend, or the things I do on my lunch break, like working on different Bible studies, running errands, eating, etc...

 

Ugh...my blood pressure is rising just thinking about it.

 

So, when it comes to things that I can change and taking responsibility, my schedule is definitely one thing that I could take better control over.  While I cannot help things like people e-mailing me and trying to communicate different things, I can control whether or not I participate in those things.  I can also control (to a degree) how I react to those things.

 

I can try to refocus myself by reminding myself of the bigger picture--that there is a purpose behind those things.  Or I can choose to forget that and get bogged down in the smaller details.

 

And I've done enough special events to know that the week leading up to the actual event can be CRAZY.

 

So, knowing that this week could be nuts with the event coming up this weekend, I did a couple of things to help ease my burden.

 

I worked on my lesson for my Tuesday night Bible study last week when I had more free time.

 

I came home earlier than I normally would have from my friend's house so that I could work on some things tonight.

 

I worked on a couple of different things Monday, Tuesday, and last night so that I wouldn't be overwhelmed with so many last minute details.

 

But probably the best thing that I did this week?

 

I gave my schedule over to God.

 

And while this week has been a pretty insane week as far as my schedule goes--it hasn't been anywhere near as bad as it could have been.

 

I had a free night Monday night.

 

My training on Wednesday night ended early so I was actually able to make it to my small group (about a 15 minute drive from where my training was) not just on time, but 2 minutes early.

 

I actually have not been overwhelmed with all of the e-mails that have been coming in.

 

When I felt myself starting to get overwhelmed, I took a deep breath, prayed that God would help me to find peace and not go there, and then found that I had received an e-mail from someone checking in to see how I was doing.  They were actually making sure that I was not getting overwhelmed and letting me know that they were praying for me in that area.

 

God is so good.

 

Something that God has been teaching me about this year has been to live with intent--to be purposeful in my interactions with others.  Particularly to be purposeful with the time that I spend with them.

 

Little things like not just turning on the TV when my nephew comes over and watch a show with him (although that can be a good way to spend some time), but to actually interact with him by doing some sort of activity.

 

The last time we got together, we went to a movie together, but we also went to the park and played on the playground, we went and got ice cream, and we just spent time hanging out and talking.

 

I don't know who loved it more; him, or me.

 

You know, I didn't realize it, but there's far more to the serenity prayer than what most people quote.  It's that last part that speaks to my heart about how I spend my time and how God wants me to use the time that I have been given with intent:

 

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

~ Reinhold Niebuhr ~

 

The verse that keeps popping into my head is one that we were asked to focus on this week.

"So don't worry about these things, saying 'What will we eat?  What will we drink?  What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.  Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.  "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it's own worries.  Today's trouble is enough for today."

~ Matthew 6:31-34

It's that last part--"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it's own worries.  Today's trouble is enough for today"--that keeps getting me.

So often when I get wrapped up in my overly scheduled life, I tend to forget that I'm supposed to be taking things one day at a time, one moment at a time.  I'm not supposed to be worrying about what's coming next.  I'm not supposed to be worrying about the hardships that come my way.

I'm supposed to trust that He will fulfill His promise that He will make all things work together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28) and that I am to live out the verse that I claim as my life verse:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

and lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will make your paths straight.

~ Proverbs 3:5,6 ~

 

When things don't seem to make sense and I have a difficult time accepting them, I need to return to the basics.

 

Committing my schedule and myself to God and trusting Him with the outcome.  Remembering that, while I don't necessarily like the world as it is and how it interrupts my plans, there is a purpose in that and God is ultimately in control.

 

And in the meantime, enjoying every moment that I can and living each of those moments with intent.