Running Just to Catch Myself....

Sometimes I feel like I don’t really have anything all that interesting to say. I just kind of live life day in and day out, not realizing that at times my daily “routine” or my daily life could actually be of some significance to others. Whenever I receive an e-mail from my grandmother on my dad’s side, I’m reminded of this. She is always asking me questions about what I do with my time. At times it’s kind of tedious and like “Well, Grandma, how can you actually be interested in this? It’s just the boring things I do everyday...” but then I remember that she loves me and because she loves me, she has a vested interest in me. And because of that interest, she wants to know what goes on in my life. And when I write or talk with her, suddenly the day to day things seem that much more important. And I remember just how significant doing things like writing in a journal or contacting the people in my life on a regular basis are, not being afraid or unwilling to write about the things that occur throughout the day, but embracing them because they are a part of my day, a part of my life.

I was thinking about all of this stuff while I was working on answering the questions in Becoming a Woman of Excellence by Cynthia Heald. The chapter we were focusing on this week has been about discipline, one of the things that can bring us closer to God. And she broke down discipline into several categories (disciplining our mind, our emotion, our body, and our time) and went through each one, providing a verse or two and a series of questions about each.

It was when she had me focus on the discipline of time that I became most…convicted, I guess. My management of time has been on my mind quite a bit lately. As some of you know, I’ve grown addicted to a couple of different TV shows (CSI [the Las Vegas one, not NY or Miami] and Alias, just to name a couple) and so I’ve spent quite a bit of time watching these, renting DVDs from past seasons and watching them so I can have more background on the characters and their experiences up to the point they’re at in the current season.

Well, after awhile I started feeling uncomfortable, my heart kept telling me something was wrong and that I needed to simply take a break from watching those shows, or at least not watch them for the same amount of time that I had been spending with them. So, I started checking out books from the library.

This coincided with the beginning of the new year, when I joined up with 50bookchallenge (a community on Live Journal) and gladly took up the challenge of reading 50 books within a year (for those of you who are curious, I’m starting book 14, so I’m kind of ahead of schedule). I began going to the library frequently, checking books out and trying to discover new authors. I really started plowing through the books and now find myself at the point where I can easily read a book within 2-3 days because I spend my free time reading it, especially at work.

Now I find my free time consumed by the books that I choose and am constantly reaching for a new one, standing in front of my pile of books I already have checked out at the library with my checkout list in hand so I can read the books that are due sooner before I read the books that are due later. It’s kind of funny that I stand there for so long looking at them and plotting in my head which ones to read next.

But, such is the nature of obsessions. And that’s what I’ve decided this is, just another obsession, another way to spend my time without necessarily having to use that time to focus on God (which was the whole point of not watching as much TV).

So, I’ve come up with a plan. I’m going to sit down and schedule out my time. To some extent, I’m going to schedule out my free time so that I don’t end up spending more time than I should doing one activity or another. It seems rather neurotic of me, but I’m trying to develop new habits and this was one of the ways I’ve been considering for a few days and was actually suggested in Becoming a Woman of Excellence. Well, not the whole planning out my free time, but planning out the day and writing down a “To Do” list (which is a habit of mine already). :)

Right now, it’s nice because I can see what my days are like. As time progresses, I suspect that I’m going to make adjustments and include more things in my daily routine and write those things down. I’m kind of vague at the moment about my free time and how it should best be spent. I’ve made a list of things to do each day and thus far have incorporated one into the schedule already. I hope to figure out where the other ones will fit in on my schedule.

I’m hoping that this will help give me some direction as to what I’m doing each day, and it gives me some smaller goals that I can meet throughout the week. Here’s my list of daily activities:

Daily:
***Devotionals/work on Bible study
***Read at least 1 chapter from a non-fiction Christian book
***Clean apartment (at least one small part like my hand dishes for the day or one part of my room)
***2 hours of “Me-time” (read, talk on the phone, watch movie, etc…)
***Make “To Do” list for the following day

Seems like a reasonable list. I know there are things that I’m going to add to that list from time to time. I’m also hoping that I won’t be an incredible Nazi about these things, that I will be willing to be flexible with them. Initially, though, I’m going to make my schedule more regimented and gradually back off.

Some other things I’m going to do:
***Memorize 1 verse per week, starting with suggested verses in Becoming a Woman of Excellence as a guide. I’ve already started this by taping a note card with my first verse on the little shelf my monitor at works sits on. I may end up moving it elsewhere, but at least in this spot, I’m guaranteed to look at it more than once a day. :)
***Continuing to limit my movie/TV intake and instead of reading just any book, read at least one chapter of a Christian non-fiction book (already listed, I know, but it’s all good)
***Be more consistent with my journaling (this will happen somewhat naturally as a result of me spending more time in the Word)

All righty, I’m going to stop here and leave you with the lyrics to a great song that reminds me of just how much time I tend to waste day in and day out (but in a humorous way!). :)

Running Just to Catch Myself
By Mark Schultz
From his album Stories and Songs

I am driving, I am late for work,
Spilling coffee down my whitest shirt,
While I’m flossing and I’m changing lanes, oh yeah.

Now I’m driving through the parking lot,
Doing eighty…what the heck, why not?
Watch it lady, cuz you’re in my spot once again.

It’s early to work and here’s a surprise
I got a McMuffin for just 99 cents today
I think they ran a special!

I can’t stand still
Can I get a witness?
Can you hear me anybody, anybody?
I think I am running just to catch myself.

Maybe someday I could fly away—
Go to Key Largo or Montego Bay.
Sport my Speedo, maybe grab a tan.
A dream vacation, wild elation.

Now I’m running straight into my boss
And he’s angry, oh, and he calls me “Ross.”
Which is funny, cuz that ain’t my name
And that’s lame.

I’m still running, running very late
For a meeting. Wait, that was yesterday.
Guess I’m early for the one next week,
Oh how sweet!

I can’t stand still
Can I get a witness?
Can you hear me, anybody, anybody?
I think I am running just to catch myself.

I get on the ladder I corporately climb.
I wave at my life as it passes me by everyday.

My name’s not Ross…

I can’t stand still
Can I get a witness?
Can you hear me anybody, anybody?
I think I am running just to catch myself.

Life in my cubicle is discreet
Life in my cubicle is neat.
I’ve got some pictures of my friends,
Some sharpened pencils…where’s my pen?

Ten o’clock I’m in a meeting...
Paper cut, I think I’m bleeding.
Check my hair, it’s still receding.
Hey what a life.

Break for lunch there’s nothing better,
Run outside and don my sweater
Like Fred Rogers “Let’s be neighbors.”
I’ve lost my mind.

I’m overworked and underpaid and non-appreciated.
It’s just a perk of being middle class and educated

One…spinning circles in my chair.
Two…Win a game of solitaire.
Three…and I ponder where my stapler’s gone.
Four o’clock I stare at the door
And I stare at my watch
Then I stare at the door.
I stand on my desk like I’m going to war,
There’s just one thing that I’ll be needing…
Grab my paycheck as I’m leaving.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhhhhhhhhhhh…

It’s five o’clock, it’s time to go
There’s crowds to fight and horns to blow.
It’s talking fast on my cell phone—
Hey, watch out! That’s reckless driving!
Five o’clock it’s time to leave—
To hit the couch and watch TV,
Set the clock and go to sleep.

It’s 8AM on Monday morning
Again and again and again and again and again!

Driving around, nowhere to go.
And so I hang with my lady
And I chill with my bros.
It’s okay, in my Cabriolet.

I can’t stand still
Can I get a witness?
Can you hear me, anybody, anybody?
I think I am running just to catch myself.

When I meet God I will have a question.
*4 drum beats* Just forgot my question.

I think I am running just to catch myself.