Redeemed (Peeling Off My Label)

As humans, I think we like to categorize things.  We put labels on things for several different reasons.  One of those reasons is to take a larger concept and simplify it so it can be more easily understood.  Another reason is it helps us to keep organized.

In the garden, Adam was given the privilege of assigning names to each of the animals that God created.  He even was able to assign his wife her first two names ("Woman" literally meaning "Soft" and "Eve" meaning "Living").  (Check out Genesis 2 & 3 for the story).

This propensity for labeling things was built into us.  We continue this tradition with different things like naming/labeling our children, naming/labeling our animals, and (for some) naming/labeling our cars.  And while labeling things does have it's good points, there are also some negative points.

Sometimes we think that because we are labeled or called something, that is all we are ever capable of being.

In the preschool I used to work at, I saw this played out in the lives of the children.  One of them was (at the time) a three year-old boy who had difficulties working with his teacher.  They were always butting heads for one reason or another.  He was labeled a rebllious, difficult child and lived up to that label.  It was all that was expected of him, so that was all he knew and all that he thought he was capable of doing.

The solution to the problem was to move him out of the classroom he was in and into a different classroom.  But the behavior issues continued--along with the labels that he had been given.  At this point, he had been told repeatedly that he was naughty, that he was dumb (although not quite that word), and that he was difficult.  A sad thing for someone so young.

No one could see anything else in him, because that was all they were ever told he was.  He couldn't even see the potential in himself because that was all he ever saw.

So often we get blinded to the potential within others--but most importantly, within ourselves because of the labels that we are given.  We think that we are doomed to remain that way for several reasons:

1. We are so entrenched in that label--in that lie, we develop a sort of tunnel vision that will not allow us to see anything different.  It's like we are surrounded by wall after wall that is covered with that label written upon it.  The writing is so thick that it covers up the paint, wallpaper, and windows underneath.
2. We have tried separating ourselves from the label, but have failed so many times that we have resigned ourselves to "This is the way it is" and we don't dare try again for fear of failing and experiencing that disappointment again
3. We have had that label for so long, we don't know that there is anything different--that there is something better out there.
4. We don't dare hope that there is something better out there for us because we have experienced so much disappointment.  The pain of that disappointment keeps us from trying at all and daring to dream.

Lysa Terkeurst had this to say in her book Unglued:

Some prisons don't require bars to keep people locked inside.  All it takes is their perception that they belong there.  A soul who believes she can't leave...doesn't. (pg. 34)

This was true of the little boy...and it is true in my own life.

I think the biggest label and prison I have been locked inside has been the label "Unworthy".

So many of the problems that I have been dealing with over the course of the last year stem from the lie that I am not worthy--not worthy of other people's time, not worthy of other people's attention, not even worthy of my own time and attention.  The lie that I am not a valuable person and that I have very little to contribute outside of a few key things.  The label of "unworthy to be loved".

I can't pinpoint the precise moment when this happened, but I do know that it is something that has been whispered to my heart over the course of several years.  Primarily it has come through the actions of others--intentional or unintentional though they may have been.

And as time has gone on, those thoughts and ideas have taken hold.  The movie Inception puts it this way:

"What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm?"

"Uh...What Mr. Cobb is trying to say--"
"An idea. Resilient, highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate...An idea that is fully formed, fully understood that sticks, right in there somewhere..."

 What I didn't really appreciate until now was the phrase "Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate..."

Almost.

That word gives me so much hope.

Does it do the same for you?

The song "Redeemed" by Big Daddy Weave expresses this idea so beautifully to me.  Please take a moment to listen to the song.

This past year, God has really taken me through a lot with regards to how I view myself.  Some of the behaviors in my life were things that I didn't realize were born out of the belief that I was unworthy.  And not "unworthy" in the humbling sense of the word, but "unworthy" in the most negative sense possible.

I have felt (and still feel, at times), so much like the first verse:

Seems like all I could see was the struggle

Haunted by ghosts that live in my past

Bound up in shackles of all my failures

Wondering how long is this gonna last

I was living in so much defeat--surrounded by these things that told me repeatedly that I was unworthy of so much.  I had tried to live out a life that seemed worthy, but everything I tried eventually failed.

And I grew tired.

Ever so tired.

And one of the things that I kept telling myself was that I have been stuck in this place because something in me--if not all of me-- is undeserving of being healed, of being unstuck.

I have found myself living out the second verse:

All my life I have been called unworthy

Named by the voice of my shame and regret

Something in me, though, has been whispering "Something isn't quite right here."  And as I started listening to that small voice, I came to a realization.

This realization was expressed so well in the song, too:

Then you look at this prisoner

And say to me "Son,

Stop fighting a fight that's already been won."

But when I hear You whisper:

"Child, lift up your head"

I remember, O God, You're not done with me yet

I didn't need to be fighting this fight.

Not at all.

And certainly not in my own strength.

This is a fight that God has already fought on my behalf.  This is a fight that He has already won.  And, if I choose to come alongside Him and be on His team, I will have already won as well.

And those times when I do find that I am weary and all I can see is the struggle against this label called "Unworthy", I need to lift up my head.  I need to lift up my head and remember that God isn't through with me yet.

And that, in and of itself, should be a sign that I am totally worthwhile.

The bridge expresses the reason why I don't have to be bound up in the shackles of my labels. 

Because I don't have to be

The old man inside of me

Cuz his day is long dead and gone

Becuase I've got a new name

A new life, I'm not the same

And a hope that will carry me home

Ephesians 4:22-23 tells us to put off our old self--that because Christ has redeemed us, we no longer are subject to its desires and imprisonment.  Instead, we are to put on our "new self".  In several places in the Bible, it says that when we believe Jesus, we have been given a new name and, as a result, are to live out Romans 12:2:

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

One of the ways that we renew our minds is to saturate them in truth--to spend time in God's Word.  It could mean spending more time in the Bible.  It could mean memorizing Scripture.  It could mean studying Scripture.

There are so many different forms this can take.

For me, this means exchanging my old label "Unworthy" for a new label.  In thinking about this, there are actually two labels that I would exchange "Unworthy" for.

Redeemed.

Worthy.

It is because I am redeemed by God through Jesus' sacrifice that I am made worthy.

It is because I am redeemed that I can shake off the chains that have bound me for years and live a life of "worth".

It is because I am redeemed that the stain of "unworthy" can be wiped clean from my heart and my mind.

God has changed me from someone who was unworthy into someone who is totally worthy.

Thus enabling me to proclaim:

I am redeemed

You set me free

So I'll shake off these heavy chains

And wipe away every stain

I'm not who I used to be

I am redeemed

Lord, I know I haven't arrived yet.  I still struggle mightily with the label "Unworthy", but I know that You have set me free from this label.  It is no longer something that I have to wear.  It is something that was wiped out when Jesus died for me on the cross.  Please forgive me for believing the lie that I am unworthy and not believing what You have said in Your Word about my worth.  Help me to find my worth in You--only in You.

And Lord, for whatever other negative labels I have stuck to me, please forgive me and chisel away at them.  I no longer want to be known as those things.  Do such a work in me that, in a year, I can look at myself and say "Who is this You are making me to be?"

P.S.  For those of you who are wondering, the little boy was given a new label.  God opened my eyes and heart to help me see good in him that (with God's help) I was able to draw out.  It's been 8 years since I last saw him, but I really believe it was the start of something new and good in his life.  And I hope and pray that he has been living out the new labels he was given--not the old, negative ones.